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Dan Speers

Citizen Poet
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        Our Favorite Past Political Epigrams     


         Let uninsured die, they exult;

        That's a Republicant dealth cult.


         Rick Perry says his views on science

         Don't require much intelligence.


Gov. Sanford's Lament


NEWS ITEM - May 25, 2009 - It began innocently, a woman from Argentina, a man from South Carolina, a conversation, the woman talking about her separation from her husband, the man offering counsel. He asked for her email.

  This was Mark Sanford's story as the governor of South Carolina held a press conference to admit to an affair with a Latin lover from Argentina. The governor had originally clalimed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, including on a Sunday that happened to be Nude Hiking Day.

  Oddly, his first apology was not to his wife, or sons, or staff, or constituents, or the press. His first regret was proffered to his mistress.

   The press conference went something like this . . .


 Don't Cry for Me, Appalachia


It wasn't easy, I sounded strange

To ask forgiveness of my mistress

At the press conference

          to explain all that I've done

You must believe me

All you can see is a man who's contrite

His illicit love came to light

After deceiving all of you.

I tried to keep it secret, but that's all changed,

My wife had no doubt, she kicked me out.

She's there, I'm here, so I guess

          you're aware we're estranged.

I didn't seek this

It all started innocently but then

In Buenos Aires

Her lips met mine

In a kiss of hot Latin bliss.


Don't cry for me Appalachia

Your trail is still calling to me

Although I sampled

Love on La Pampas

I'll keep my pants on

For Nude Hiking Day.

As for my career, and my good name

I always took them for granted

Since I showed to the world

           righteous faces of me.

There were illusions

Along with my delusions of promises to keep

And sacred vows I was too weak

           to preserve. I deserve my fate.

Don't cry for me Appalachia.


Don't cry for me Appalachia

Your trail is still calling to me

Although I sampled

Love on La Pampas

I'll keep my pants on

For Nude Hiking Day.

Did I say too much?

There's little more I can add to my email rants,

Since all you have to do

          is read my words to her

         To know why I lost my pants.

Mark Sanford in the Woods

But Wearing His Clothes

Can't Get Enough

of  Mark's Madness?


Members of his own party have called on Governor Mark Sanford to resign, suggesting a misappropriation of state funds. Sanford continues to insist that the current wave of indignation is politically motivated.


  Jenny Sanford moved out of the governor's mansion, taking their three sons to a family home, and has since written a book detailing her experience. The couple is divorcing.


          It wasn't claustrophobia,

          But soul not sole made Jenny leave,

          Saying, bye, bye, Columbia.


  Apparently, Gov. Sanford has yet to master theArt of Shut Up. He wrote an Op Ed piece in South Carolina's The State newspaper  recently in which he apologized yet again. He later opined that he was politically dead. When's the wake?

Sanford's grateful for the hole

      into which he fell.

It was, after all, God's will.

     It put the fun in funeral

And opened up for him,

     a better whole to fill.


And then, there's the "Family"

Righteousness consolidated.    

C Street zealots dissipated.

 --Based on a vision and a visit from God in the guise of a CEO, cultists enjoy a tax-free subsidy for their Washington digs.

 Wacky News   


The Honolulu City Council is consideringa $500 fine or six months in jailfor bus riders who have offensive odors.

What is it so bad that people do

To stink up buses in Honolulu?

If not the motor, must be the voter

Paying the new fine for body odor.

Security guards hired through Wackenhut Services, a company founded by Dick Nixon's old pal, George, have been holding lewd parties with hookers and booze.

Who are these manic, wacky nuts

Guarding our Afghan embassy?

Oh, I see. They're all Wackenhuts

--Florida-type security.

   Listening to many Republicans trying to insert the "ic" factor in describing the Democratic Party, I have to wonder that they don't seem to understand that most of literate America comes down strong on the correct usage of Democratic as an adjective and that by trying to intend a slur actually is more indicative of their own ignorance:


    When you say "Democrat Party"

     Instead of "Democratic,"

     We know you're either ignorant

     Or a right-wing fanatic.


Spicy Quips from the Garden Sage:


      Punxsutawney Phil does go on

      Say's, NO, winter will not be gone!

     That rat must be RepubliCon.

They May Be Aliens

But They Aren't Very Bright Aliens


   At a town hall meeting, one of the truly muddled showed up with a picture of the President with a Hitleresque moustache and made accusations of genocide to a man both Jewish and gay.


  Incredibly, both Faux News and Lush Lamebrain (and his Doo-Doo heads) took the side of the fool (doubly ironic since these are folks who rant about illegal aliens).


What makes aliens 

     from Mars even think

They have the wit 

     to take on Barney Frank?

He is the master of cutting retorts

And the irony is,

     he does it for sport.

The birthers and haters,

     they haven't  a clue

Which of course explains

     the ordure they do.


* * * * *


     In town hall meets, the lap dogs leap,

     Lying dogs needs be left asleep.


Joe Lieberman


            Lieberman is no friend of man,

            He is the party of one

            The sole Party of Liberman.


           Joe Lieberman, party floater, 

           Loves donors more than the voter.

The Politician


He came in an empty sedan

Said things no one could understand

Managed to shake every hand

Took from our pockets all but sand

Left promising to come again

Some said it was a preacher man

Or at the least, a magician.

But given the apparition

I suspect a politician,

Or else, a mortician.




Lines I Couldn't Resist:


     Republicans face the specter

    Of losing face by losing Specter.

"If you get sick, you best die quick."

This, Grayson claims, is the Cons' shtick.

"If you get sick, you need to die."

Lines I Did Resist:

   Sen. John Kyl of Arizona

  Got in bed with Rep. John Boehner.

  The Stimulous Plan made them pout

  So they pulled a Palin and pulled out.

 --of politics and bedfellows



Why Can't These Fools Keep Their Mouth's Shut?



      Pat Robertson spews a venom,     

      Himself, the demented demon.

  -On the day after the earthquake in Haiti.


Blowing in the Political Wind


              Birds of a feather are a focussed lot,

              For them, what is, is, even if it's not.


Dumbing Down Texas Textbooks


Liberty does not have a chance

In minds enslaved by ignorance.


Note how education vexes

The illiterate in Texas.   


Evolution favors no favorites;

It could be evolving more idiots.


Hiding the facts only distracts

Weak minds. It doesn't change the facts.


Jefferson cited church-state separation

Not Texas students from education.


Texas celebrates ignorance

At the hands of RepubliCants.


Chatty Joe Biden

Biden oft has nothing to say

But then he says it anyway.

Joe Wilson's raison d'etre


"I won't be muzzled,"  Wilson swore,

He's right, of course. Muzzles are for

             --the other end of the horse. 


--This is the epigram I sent to the

South Carolina newspaper, The State.


Joe Wilson's real chicanery

Lies in his fake sincerity.


Sandford and Wilson both got ripped

When pants and lips these fools unzipped.


 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


The foibles of these South Carolina politicians would be truly funny but for the fact that their state ranks so far behind in health care for women, children, and the poor of all races.


     Hour after hour, twelve people die.

     Health insurance they could not buy.

     The land of the free ain't is why.

--Statistic based on a Harvard Research Study

Rush Limbaugh


Lush Lamebrain claims

     "blind hatred" got him banned.

That the hatred was his,

     he didn't understand.


Public furor over Limbaugh's possible

purchase ownership in an NFL team.


 Lush Lamebrain and his Doo-doo heads

 Grow their own hate just like inbreds.


 Lush Lamebrain and his doo-doo heads,

 Their future lies in shared hatreds.

 --On his show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh

resurrects Obama-Hitler comparisons.


The foibles and follies of the Palin chronicles.


If Palin, Cheney and Quayle were hunting game,

Would Cheney shoot a Quayle or a bird brain?

 In response to an essay on


Poor Palin left her thoughts behind,

Must be where her thoughts we'll find.


Palin writes her thoughts on her hands,

Should wipe her notes before she stands.


Read more about the adventures of Sarah Palin and her reality family of Wasilla Hillbillies HERE.

Tea Party and Teabaggers


These Teabaggers who chose their name

Should hang their heads and bags in shame.


Is 'Teabagger' an epithet? -- Jay Nordlinger of

National Review Online, argues in an op-ed entitled

 "Rise of an Epithet," that the name may be

detrimental to the cause.


     Will teabagger make history,

     Most dips ever at Grand Ole Opry? 


    Sarah Palin was paid a fee

    To speak words too cheap to be free.


    In Nashville now the teabaggers,

    The backers, slackers and crackers.




Franken Wins. Bill-O Loses.


Everytime we hear the name

Of Bill-O, Bill O'Reilly,

We will forever link his name

To Franken's Stuart Smiley.


See it all at:


Minnesota Madness

Previous PunDitty's

        Rick Perry reveals Ponzi scheme;

        Turns out it is his Texas dream.


        Bachman says God sent quake and hurricane.

        So then the victims did not die in vain?


        G-Oil-P makes FAA gaft,

        But Prexy and Dems got the last laugh.


       GOP attacks workers' rights,

       Costs U.S. millions day and night.


       The Tea Part fights its own war,

       With no clue what it's fighting for.


       RepubliCants blindly refuse,

       To heal the budget with revenues.


      Debt ceiling vote was a goner,

      In spite of the Raging Boehner.


       Minimum wage and overtime,

      The GOP calls these a crime.



       The freeway closed and life goes on,

       But there are no cars, not a one,

       A California auto wan.



     Time to rein in large pay noxious,

     From CEO's unjust largess.


      Mark Halperin thought he was slick,

      So slick, he slipped, and got the stick.


      Smart G-Oil-P contenders are choosers,

      They've chosen to leave the field to loosers.


      Where would today's gasoline prices be

      Without Big-Oil bucks and the G-Oil-P?


      If you wonder why gas is high,

     You might ask the G-Oil-P why.


       RepubliCants blindly refuse,

      To heal budget with revenues.


      With pirates and Osama's gall,

      Obama made the gutsy call. 


      What Ryan's budget plan will cost

       Is  six thousand per senior lost.


       The RepubliCant budget plan:

       Kill Medicare fast as they can.


       It's about time Teabaggers knew

       Lots of dips make a bitter brew.


       RepubliCants borrow trillions

      To give rich their jolly jillions.


       RepubliCants blindly refuse

      To heal budget with revenues.


        Anti-women and anti-air

        RepubliCants really don't care.


        RepubliCants are too extreme.

        Women's healthcare a target mean.


        Right wingnut impropriety

        Reveals their planned society.


        I don't make political jokes;

        They're elected by other folks.


        The more crimes a state legislates

         The more criminals it creates.


         RepubliCants misname "Obamacare,"

         Afraid to call it, "Affordable Care."


         When politicians speak their mind,

         I think you'll find someone's behind.


         One who wants to be somebody,

        Has little grasp of parody.


        Those RepubliCants don't cower 

         From abusing lack of power.


        In order for ignorance to survice,

        You must keep your traditions alive.


        Even freedom has it limits,

         Freedom is what the law permits.


        For facts, belief is not required,

        For beliefs, facts are not desired. 


       When politicians speak their mind,

        I think you'll find someone's behind.


        RepubliCants still hide the truth,

        Claim Constitution is obtuse.


        RepubliCants barely seated

        From tax pledge they have retreated.


       Obama signs first responders bill,

       For RepubliCants, a bitter pill.


      The elephant and the donkey,

      Are symbols; bull's reality.


       Some wag said RepubliCants

       Represent States of Ignorance.


      One thing about the ignorant,

      Day after day, they're consistent.


      Education vexes / Ignorance in Texas.


      What kind of judge does it take

      An anti-HCR ruling to make?

      Why, Henry Hudson, a judge on the take.


       Order is the dichotomy

       That coexists with liberty.


       The compromise that some think best,

        Largely supports self-interests.


        Lonely, I booked a flight today,

        For a pat-down from TSA.


        God eschews climate change claims John Shimus

        He's full of bull, but doesn't know Buchis.


        Mitch McConnell, a partisan

        Of party, not American.


       Those people who fail to vote don't think,

       They really are voting the way they think.


       Right wingnut impropriety,

       Reveals their planned society.


      The Tea Party fact that matters,

       Is that they are all mad hatters.


        A truth-telling politician 

        Has no respect for tradition.        Comes out today Joe Miller lied

       Shows why his past he tried  to hide.


       Free speech is what we guarantee,

      Just the right, not the quality.


    Politicians and whores are uncanny,

    They share one goal, how much and how many.      


       FOX-casters run their mouths on air,

       The same as airheads everywhere.


        It's always the true believers

        At the mercy of the deceivers.


       English only, the RepubliCants cry

       Might they want to give it a try?


       Massa blamed woes on naked man.

       Did Rob Emanuel come again?


       So desparate to be believed

       Teabaggers are easy deceived.


       This 24/7 news cycle,

       Is a daily dose of awful.


        RepubliCant hysteria:

        Their new Plague on America.


        Lies never seem to much matter,

        To those whom the lies most flatter.


        The Tea Party claims to have no head,

        Explains why their party's brain dead.


        Tea Party rips, electing drips,

        RepubliCants slip, stick with dips.


        What RepubliCants oversee,

        Seems to overlook you and me.


        Prejudice, spawn of ignorance,

        Breeds religious intolerance

        Of Bibles, Torahs and Qu'rans.


         Book-burning notoriety

         Fails as religious piety

         But succeeds as idiocy.


         There's a new RepubliCant purity,

         It's called: Repeal Social Security.


         Men have killed and died to sustain

         Beliefs that no longer remain.


         Where blind belief resides,

         That's where the truth hides.


         The opinion of the majority,

         Determines neither fact nor equity.


         Make time for FOX, ignore real news,

        That's the path Angle and Paul choose.


        Voting for the best man is perfection,

        But that's a wedding, not an election.


        Conservative rightwing pomposity,

        Invites tyranny by minority.


       A head that is filled with bias,

       Has no room for social justice.


      Venting anger makes you look mean,

       When you're letting off self-esteem.


      The greater a fool's ignorance,

      The greater is his confidence.


      Those who follow  FOX news,

       Sadly follow FAUX news 


       Extremists do and think as taught;

       Thus is loyalty cheaply bought. 


       Barely had the World Soccer Cup begun, 

       When the U.S. beat England 1 to 1.    


        Ignorance is both bliss and blind,

        --Can't see reason without a mind.


       What starts as fanaticism, 

       Often ends as barbarism.


       The BP crime is not complex; 

       Tar and feather the oil execs.


       Obama tackles the oil scum

      Warns them to get the job done.


      There's oil scum on the Gulf, oil scum

      On the beach, and in the board room.


       Why do those who don't vote expect

       To gripe about those we elect.


        How ironic that it's oil scum,

       That's sucking up the oil scum.


       Bigots fight reason with rancor,

       And don't take know for an answer. 


       Why is it always the bigots

       The first to disagree with us?


       With facts, belief is not required.

       For beliefs, facts are not desired.


       Oil execs say they are certain,

      'Twasn't BP or Transocean

       Or even Dick's Halliburton -

      'Twas the man behind the curtain.


       The greater a fool's ignorance,

       The greater is his confidence.


       The oil spill is an accident

       The guilty chose not to prevent.


       Today our pristine Gulf's hurting

       Because of Cheney's Haliburton.


      To have liberty, one must free

       One's prejudices from tyranny.


       Conan seems seems stronger more secure

       Getting screwed has helped him mature.


      Senate had The Lord's Prayer disposed;

      Eighteen admendments were proposed. 

--with a nod to Sen. Hary Wilson, W/R-MA


      Speaking their minds as critics do

       Doesn't mean what they say is true.


      The greater the bigotry

      The fewer convictions we see. 


      Arizona takes on an enemy,

      Whose darker skin betrays identity.


      To ignorance, Teabaggers clutch,

      Mediocrity is their crutch.


       Here's a RepubliCant concept 

      Trade your chicken for a health check.

--GOP Candidates ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan


     Those Teabagging gun-toting slobs,

     Turns out they're just sad, scraggly mobs.


     RepubliCants attack Wall Street reform,

     Hate Obama more than Goldman-Sachs harm.


     In Boston, teabaggers exchanged 

     Misinformation pre-deranged.


     Why do RepubliCants see lots to fight

     But can not find a single thing that right?


    It's always those most ignorant

    Who never lose an argument.


    The RepubliCants bravely don't cower

    From any abuse of their lack of power. 


     It's official and on the census form,

     Barack Obama listed his race as ...


    Who knew? 

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


    Michael Steele says race makes job hard

    But for RNC, it's not race

   What it was was the credit card.


   Even freedom has its limits,

   Freedom is what the law permits .


    If hot nasty sex talk is your desire,

    Check out the latest RNC flier.

-GOP Fundraiser lists phone sex line as contact


      Michael Steele's staff sure found it hard

     When they used their RNC card.

-GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs.


    Do RepubliCant donations,

     Inspire strip club celebrations?

-GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs.


     Thousands spent by RepubliCants

     Getting into and out of pants.

-GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs.


     Health Care is, Mitt Romney forgets,

     What he signed in Massachusetts.


    It's true. Health Care became the Waterloo;

     But it's RepubliCants in deep doo-doo.

-RepubliCants called Health Care Obama's Waterloo.


    RepubliCants miscalculated;

    On health care vote they're emasculated.


    Vigirnia AG, a certified nut,

    Pulling his ideas out of his butt.

Birther, homophobe, SS paranoid


    Gina Thomas launches Tea Party site

    While Clarence does his teabagging at night.

SC legalizes Politics.Inc. , Gina tests the brink.


     Glen Beck now a national laughingstock

     After touting the Tickle-Me Massa schlock.



So an author

        named Charles M. Blow

Gives head with:

        "Don't Tickle Me, Brow!?


A story from the NY Times.


    Demonizing other humans,

    Makes the demonizers demons.


    True believers are satisfied,

    With beliefs that can't be verified.


    Here's news for Rove on what is politic,

    Sex is not a weapon, but genetic.


--On reports that Rove's father was gay, Rove called it

a poltical attack. And of course, the pot would know


    Rove and Bush shared brains, some posit,

   Well, that explains why each is a half wit.


    Conservatives view what's new as a crime,

    Think nothing should be done for the first time.


    Zealots create the malady,

   Then morph into the remedy.


   Palin contracts new book of wit,

   I'll waste no time in reading it.


   Shaping of truth is politic;

   It's politicians that bend it.


  You ask, Why should health care apply

  To all, equally as a right?

  Do we not all equally die?


  Jim Bunning shows his ignorance,

  With the help of RepubliCants.


   No, no, no, no, sings the Can't Whore,

   Song of death from Eric Cantor.


   Do RepubliCants spell summit,

   No, Na, Nada, Nay, Nope and Nyet?


  The epidemics we should fear,

   Are those spread by the lies we hear.


   Rights die with McDonnell mandate,

   Virginia now the State of Hate.

 --Newly elected RepubliCon Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell has by mandate eliminated non-discrimination based on sexual orientation


   Where and when an authority censors,

         Authoritarianism enters.


   Weird how weird beliefs always find,

   Some weird person with a weird mind.


  Those who want freedom of speech outght,

  To first attempt freedom of thought.



          One tolerates atrocities,

          By believing absurdities.


          Even today's majority,

          Was yesterday's minority.


   Cowardly politicians hide

   Behind any populist tide.

   Finger to the wind does abide

   Whom they see as the winning side.


Walking tall into the den,

    Went the President

Bearded the lions who sought to vent,

    And set a precedent.


Barack Obama and Scott Brown have roots,

In Haverhill, MA, where with many offshoots

From Archie to Macy's to poets and boots.


       Sad the Haitian remedy,

       Lies solely in catastrophe.


FOX ignores the Haitian earthquake;

Burying lives, grave fortunes make.


--FOX News scum refused to run Hope for Haiti Now,

instead airing the lies of O'Relly and Hannity.


For Sale Cheap: Supreme Court corpse

No Soul. That sold to U.S corps.

--Supreme Court lifts political campaign limits for corporations.


 Scott Brown is a family values man

Honors his daughters as only Lot can.


--Offers daughters as virgins to the mob: Genesis 19:8


Scott Brown is nude for all to see

RepubliCon hypocrisy.


Democracy allows, for unity,

    Ignorance equal opportunity.


     Being a liberal, you see,

     I understand all that can be

    'Cept those who don't understand me.


Distrust leaders who build trust for themselves

By making voters distrust someone else.


    The Puritans. The Taliban.

    Can you explain morals in

    Government to me again?


 Letterman Exposed

What Letterman was dipping in

Explains at last Dave's dippy grin.


     To show you are strong,

          bring your faults to light

    'Cause  you're always wrong,

           if you're always right.


To win the race, you must stand fast

To the maxim: You must run fast.



Political Pot Shots

      Perry says mate Gingrich and Cain;

      Guess he can't have Cheney again. 

Rick Perry on his perfect VP choice.


       Joe Walsh missed child support court date,

       This deadbeat dad's payments still late.


       Rick Perry dines with Donald Trump--

       In a slump or down in the dump?


       Rick Perry says Social Security's "a lie,"

       Tea Party cheers, jeer. No care? Let them die.


       "Heads will explode," Dick Cheney said.

        Heads? Rice ripped book, said it misled.

       "Cheap shots," cried Powell. Gorge Bush plays dead.


        Dick Cheney's book's a rightwing hit.

        I'll waste no time in reading it.


        Cheney's view of reality

        Is that fiction is history.


        Has Michelle Bachmann yet admitted

        That children are sexually transmitted?


       Here's the news from Iowa fair:

        Bachman got the vote; Pawlenty, the goat;

        Ron Paul still can boast; but Santorum's toast.

        Rick and Mitt choose not to be there. 


         Ron Paul says country is bankrupt

         But it's Ayn Rand's brand that's corrupt.


        Bachman boasts of an open mind,

        A vacancy Newsweek did find.


        In what true political voice

        Did S&P make its strange choice?


       Perry proves knowledge has limits;

       Wish it were true for ignorance.


       O'Reilly lies when he resists,

      The truth of Christian terrorists.


        It's time to name names and kick ass:

       John Mica's the name, and the ass.


        FAA shutdown is a shame,

        John Mica (R-Fla) is the one to blame.


        Sarah Palin's film hits with a thud,

        Film's a bomb, premier's a dud.



        So that film of Sarah Palin,

       Just premiered, already failing.


      RepubliCants play Palin's role,

      Pull out of talks, put debt in hole.


     Congress rejects pulling bulbs dim,

     Wisconsin rejects fake Dems dim.


        Flounder dogging Romney's campaign,

        Must have come from a Big Dig lane.

--Headline: Tunnels spring leaks in Boston


       Obama rejects short term fix,

       Stymies GOP's long time tricks.


       Although Jon Stewart was called out,

       FOX and Chris Wallace lost the bout.


        Though Perry says to God he'll pray,

        Maybe God wants Texas that way.


       Ron Paul again the straw poll takes,

       Making again the same mistakes.


       Bachman said Tea Party will take,

       Country back!  (To 1808).


       Donald Trumpet, he brought tacky,

       Sarah Palin, she brought tatty,

       Together, the pair brought wacky.


       Palin succeeds with brash talking,

       She's on tour and it's trash talking.


       Newt finessed Tiffany amount,

       Once again proving no account.


       Sarah Palin eyes polls Presidential,

       She's ahead where there is a hole to fill.


       Santorum is more than a dolt,

       Google "Santorum" for a jolt.

--What's in a name, Rick Santorum?


               The G-Oil-P has gone flailing.

               Donald Trumpet pulls a Palin,

               Rev. Mike Hucklebutt is bailing,

              And Newt Gingritch's wailing Quaylen.. 


         I'm a Hampton's fan, Sen. Ensign said,

       Some work on my staff, and some I embed. 


       Mitt now touts his business success,

       But he left Mass a fiscal mess,

       What he's a pro at, is finesse.


       Thank you, Mitt, for Mass health care,

       It wouldn't be if you weren't there.


       Paul Ryan says kill Medicare,

       Which confirms how seniors will fare.


       Donald Trump's race still in the air,

       In polls, he's ahead by a hair.


        Donald Trump is more than a joke--

        He's got the RightWing by the throat.


         No, Eric Cantor, non-events

         Don't make law. Nor does ignorance.


        Sarah Palin from "Alasquirm,"

        Can't complete a full or half term.


       Randy Hopper is such an ass,

       Lived a lie for a piece of lass.


      Randy Hopper comes a croppper,

      Took a mistress just to hop her.


      Donald Trump Lincoln Day speaker

     Will fire himself in bored room squeaker.


     Charlie Sheen tops Sarah Palin,

     In polls that show Palin failing.


      English only, TexiCants cry.

      Maybe they should give it a try.


       When abroad, Sarah Palin spoke her mind,

       In India, she was running behind.


       Glen Beck's lineage is a snap,

       In FOX family tree, he's the sap.


       Glen Beck is suited for his time,

       I suspect Jurrasic is prime.


       Beck displays that glazed, wild-eyed stance 

       Cocked for a leap of ignorance.


       Sarah Palin comes out blazing,

       The small calibre amazing.


       Sarah Palin's weird response to Spudnik 

       Is, much like her brain, surrealpolitik.


       Michele Bachman takes history,

       To rightwing depths of mystery.


        Apathy and mendacity,

        Fuel this Bachman audacity.


       Michele Bachman takes history,

       To rightwing depths of mystery.


        From the political rumors I hear,

        Sarah Palin needs a swift kick in her career.


        Of guns and crossshairs she was full,

         But all Palin shoots now is bull.


         Michael Savage and Mark Levin,

         Spew their hatred from the same vain.


        Sarah Palin cites blood libel,

        Shows her ignorance is tribal.


        Palin came late to speak her mind,

        And said what came from her behind.


         Sarah Palin should know liars,

         She's caught up short in the cross hairs.


         So Boehner had his staff sworn in

         And Justice Roberts goofed again.


         Darrell Issa, the Acorn nut,

         Kisses FOX's "Black Panther" butt.


         Boehner takes the Constitution to heart,

         Likes the "endowed by their Creator" part.


       Now what has Pat Robinson got

       That made this stogy stir the pot?


        Michele Backman's intelligence

        Is solely gained by appointments.


        Sarah Palin's book proves the quote

      "Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote."

                     With thanks to Lord Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield. 1694-1773


       Michele Bachman may do the best

       In the "Lie of the Year" Contest


        The greater a fool's ignorance,

        The greater is her confidence.


         Sarah Palin's gaining traction,

         Putting ignorance in action.


        John McCain fights Don't Ask, Don't Tell,

        Since he claims there's no snow in Hell.


          The truth McCain has most to fear,

          Is the truth he wants least to hear.


          Sitting fireside with Bush's tome,

          Page by page, it's warming my home.


           John McCain came out gruff Friday

          Changing his stance on questions gay

          The report did not go his way

          So he switched sides from fey to bray.


          Boehner says he knows chicken crap;

          He should; it's right under his hat.


           This news just in, Sarah Palin

           Endorsed by Kim Jong II to win

           In 2012 as President.

           Palin welcomed the endorsement

           Saying China has proved our friend

           And we'll trounce Japan in the end.


            Stand with our North Korean allies,

            Sarah Palin she did surmise

           --Much to South Korea's surprise.



         Sarah Palin seeks life of bliss.

         Has no clue what ignorance is.


        Palin's new book was released today,

         She can now read what she didn't say.


         Palin's new book bares tales galore,

         Same as what Levi's looking for.


        Sarah Palin hints office run

        But not the one she has run from.


       Getting through Bush's book is quick;

       Why, I'm already through with it.


       George Bush's book, a feast of anecdotes

       It's hard to swallow without antidotes.


       George Bush's new book is a hit

       I'll waste no time in reading it.


       Sharron Angle says God did choose

        Her to run. (And, turns out, to lose.)


       Sharron Angle, shepherd of God,

       But  Latinos gave her the rod.


        Sharron Angle can run and hide

       But she can't hide what's not inside.


       Sarah Palin defends Joe Miller's gaffes,

       Oh, yes, the half-gov is so good for laughs.


      Jaun Williams, after NPR firing

      Seem hotter than ever as FOX hireling.


      Sharon Angle says she's Asian;

      When did China turn Caucasian?


       Christine O'Donnell twitched her nose

       Didn't change which Constitution she knows.



       So Joe Miller hires private cops,

       Media props, these flops bust chops.


        Joe Miller in ad sings this "beat it" song,

        Doesn't Christine O'Donnell say that's wrong?


         Christine O'Donnell can't report,

         Anything from the Supreme Court

         Where Creationism came short,

         Unconstitutional, said Court.


         Meg Whitman shows the confidence,

         Of arrogance and ignorance.


        Carl Paladino chose odd day to bray,

        Showed ass on National Coming Out Day.


      Evolution's a myth says Christine O'Donnell

      Turns out her education is a myth as well.


      Paladino took worker out --
      Now wants to take reporter out.

News--   Video--


      So Beck ails FOX with crazy views;

      Is crazy on FOX really news?


       Christine -- So evolution isn't true?

       Seems it's making a monkey out of you.

Christine O'Donnell says evolution is a myth.


       This GOP Plague on America

       Is RepubliCant hysteria.


       Now the RepubliCants are held captive,

        By the Teabaggers religious invective.


       Most senate candidates not daft,

        Embrace sex instead of witchcraft.

Re: Christine O'Donnel's sex and satan views.

See the twitterGrams on left for more on COD


       Karl Rove has changed his RepubliCant mind, 

       Support for O'Donnell pulled from [his] behind.


        No headless bodies Brewer did confess,

       Turns out she's the one who's headless.


       Glen Beck admits lie at rally,

       Got caught in his silly sally.


        Glen Beck attacks education,

        Like he prefers segregation.


        Palin attacks Vanity Fair:

        Is that a Bump-It in her hair?


       Brewer says there's bodies headless:

       Proves Arizona's head's clueless.


        Glen Beck lies to his crowd of sheep,

        Once more the truth drowns in defeat.


       Whatever Glen Beck thought he sought,

        He proved bigotry needs no thought.

          --Washington rally, Washington white wash.


       She says Social Security must go

       I say keep it. Let Sharron Angle go.

          --RepubliCant Angle is running for the Senate in Nevada.


       John McCain turned the trick; he won

       Trick was, he turned so fast, he spun.

          --Sen McGain spent $20 mil and his credibility to win the primary.


        No Mosque here. No Mosque here. Oh, no,

        No non-Mosque not at Ground Zero.

It is so nice, We did it twice.


       What is it bigots think they show   

        The non-Mosque not at Ground Zero?


       Palin does racially abuse,

       But as employee of FOX News

       Does she express FOX N-word views?


      Sharron Angle holds fake rally.

      Fake doctors help boost her tally.

    --Partisans dress up as doctors at an Angle rally.


      God told Sharron Angle to run.

      God wanted to ensure Reid won.


      Rand Paul and Sharron Angle vent,

      To their states' sad embarrassment.


      Sharron Angle has the quaint view

      That the news is what's fit to skew.


      Breitbart called Sherrod a racist,

      With the distorted lies of a sadist.


      The Tides show Glen Beck pychotic,

      Floats the lies of a lunatic.


        Buck calls Teabaggers "dumbasses."

        --Looks in  mirror sans his glasses.

CO GOP Senate candidate Ken Buck attacked tea-party

activists who doubt President Obama's birth certificate.


       Bush has lost his Dick, Cheney lost his heart,

       But the ass who lost his ass was Breithart.


      What MSNBC reports,

       CNN reports; FOX distorts.


       Sarah Palin's "refudiate,"

       One more "puck-up" to celebrate.


      Bristol Palin now spreads the news,

      Shows us what Levi Johnston views.


       Sharon Angle has such odd views,

       Even she wants to squelch the news.


       Obama's war says Michael Steele,

        To fools whom ignorance appeals.


         Among quitters and losers you will find,

         Sarah Palin is up front, but still behind.


        Ozzy Osbourne is still alive,

        --Much to his own surprise.


       Senator Sessions's certifiable,

       And Kagan's strengths are verifiable.


      Eureka slipped from Palin's mind,

      Another college left behind.  


      Sarah Palin, from where she sits

      Pulls her Hitler BP fund twits.


      McChrysal relieved in drama;

       Not as relieved as Obama.


      Oil-symp Joe Barton still believes,

      Taking BP funds makes us thieves.


       Sharron Angle knows no tangent,

       But her angle's seriously bent.


        Tony Hayward sails to windward,

        Takes wrong tack this  tacky bassturd.

Drilling deep to stop leak. Hayward turns into a creep.


        GOP, FU

        And BP, U2.


       Joe Barton's  BP apology

       Shows GOBP sympathy.


        Sharron Angle says water spreads

        HIV-Aids. Again. What's her creds?


         Sharron Angle has some odd views

         But ending cocktails is weird news.

The US Senate candidate wants to ban booze in Nevada.


        Did Sarah Palin get new boobs?

        No, they're  the same bunch of dumb dudes.


        Sarah Palin's off the deep end;

        Says drill demand never happened.   


        So Rand Paul is not certified

        His statements eyed, they found he lied.


         Liz Cheney, Dad and barbs that stick

         --Some Dick, some schtick and yes, some prick.


       Glen Beck has done it once again.

       Opened his mouth and drained his brain.


       Sarah Palin puts facts in line,

       But oddly they all seem behind.


      English only would have one benefit,

      Most Americans would have to learn it.


      Mark Souder's staggering ignorance,

      Kept him in his office, but not in pants.

Republican representative resigns over affair


       Rand Paul misspoke his backers say,

      Today's truth lies in yesterday. 


      Bristol Palin to spread her views

      But when she spreads, she tends to lose.  

      When politicians speak their mind,

      I think you'll find someone's behind.


      Why is it most RepubliCants

      Represent States of Ignorance?


      Obama tackles the oil scum

      Drills the lame execs a new one.

President Obama Rebukes Oil Companies.


     George Bush's book tells a story,

     Which, of course, lies in history.


     Sarah Palin's new book of wit?

     I'll waste no time in reading it.


     In Utah, Bennett was handed his coat

     By all his supporters who didn't vote.   


     Which made it harder for Rekers . . .
     To make the gays straight - or straighter?


      George Alan Rekers claims to switch gay fate.

      Must be really hard when he makes gays straight.

Right-wing Christian preacher hired a Rent-a-Boy. 


     Today our pristine Gulf's hurting

      Because of Cheney's Haliburton. 


       From Alaska: Drill, Baby, Drill.

      Gulf disaster: Kill, Baby, Kill. 


      Fill the coffers was what Bush said,

      He who filled coffins with the dead. 

Read and see Dead Certain

George Bush was Dead Certain: /Pages/DeadCertain.aspx


      Lowden says farmerceuticals,

     Will buy your pharmaceuticals. 

 --GOP Candidate's ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan


      Health care chickens not so strange,

      It's the dozen eggs that's your change.


      Let's put our faith in Lowder-Care

      Give a chicken for our health care.

 --GOP Candidate's ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan


       Bill O'Reilly is such a bore,

      Defends lying by lying more.


      Massa's generosity is touching,

      Depending, of course, on what's he touching.

--Rep. Eric Massa wrote $40,000 check to chief of staff after quitting

Congress admidst sexual harrassment charges.


    Haley Barb0ur: "Slavery no big deal."

    RepubliCants: Is this man your ideal? 


    McCain is living in desparation

    But is it cliche or indiscretion.


     John McCain recalls what was then,

     Wants now to be the same again.

     The saddest words: What might have been.


   John McCain's pique is now a pout

    Says vote him in and he'll stay out.

--John McCain pledges to opt out of bpartisansihip in Senate. 


   Michelle Bachmann claims the RepubliCants

   Will merge with Teabaggers in a new stance.

   Won't that double the spread of ignorance?