Citizen Poet Takes on . . .
Ten Ways to Play the Lie
Been a while since he played around,
How now will Tiger Woods go down?
Tiger Woods has to do his thing,
Prove he still knows how to swing.
Tiger Woods unites wife and golf;
Better a kiss than a kiss off.
On Tiger Woods, a book I brought
It was not as hard as I thought.
On the Come Back Trail
The Tiger Woods fist pump is back;
Anything else earns him a whack.
Tiger Woods getting back to par
Driving balls instead a car.
Tiger Woods still well under par
Needs to stroke faster to go far.
Tiger Woods rejects paddy stack
Now gambling on a golf comeback
Out of the bush but in the rough,
Does Tiger Woods have the right stuff?
The Tiger Woods gossip status:
The Pros now claiming hiatus.
Tiger Woods getting back in swing,
Takes up playing with balls again.
Playing a Round
For Tiger Woods, a mistress
Was what seemed to be a Miss,
Between him and his mattress.
They say Tiger Woods played a round,
A new nineteenth hole there he found.
On Tiger Woods we can rely,
Even Pros can have a bad lie.
Tigers Woods has played in foursomes,
Five-, six- and wow, a lot moresomes.
Tiger Woods does not feel whole
Started when he played the wrong hole
Tiger Woods, famed for his hits and misses,
We know the hits that came from his Mrs.,
But the count on misses still amasses.
Tiger Woods may not feel quite whole,
Started when he played the wrong hole.
On Oscar Night, Tiger Was Out
Oscars have cut the Tiger Woods jokes
Confusing the jabs for the strokes.
Tiger Woods is still in the rough
And we all know withdrawal is tough.
Around and around Tiger ran
From this hole to that and back again.
Sex addiction excuse conceals,
Tiger Woods' own lack of scruples.
We got the goods on Tiger Woods,
It's true! He was into piece goods.
You'd thinkTiger Woods, a pro, would
Know hole in one is hard with wood.
If you shanked your balls in the woods,
Would you use wood of Tiger Woods?
"Feel" is Tiger's secret to golf,
But his is done with his clothes off.
Tiger Woods is so good with his thing
He now gives tips on how to swing.
Doses Tiger do the dance
With or without his pants?
Tiger Woods strayed into the bush;
Needs 5-wood that ball to flush
Jamie's pix show Tiger Woods would,
What they show is Tiger Woods' wood.
Jamie Jungerclaims she took photos
of Tiger passed out naked on her couch.
She says affair lasted two years. She is 26.
Tiger Woods sex-texted love notes rough
Looks like his withdrawal is tough.
Do We Bi the Story?
Tiger Woods had no parrot it is true,
But now they say he had a Cockatoo.
-On news that TW may be bisexual.
Wow here comes Tiger Woods again
But with a man, a Mulligan.
Tiger Woods explains bi conflict,
Started with holes, went to addict.
Tiger Woods wasn't always bi in bed;
He got sucked into it, he said.
Is Tiger Woods a sex addict
Or is this a buy/bi conflict?
If with a man and woman swing,
Did Tiger Woods blow a good thing?
All content, including poems, copyright 2010 by Dan Speers.
All rights reserved.