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Dan Speers

Citizen Poet
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 Not the news the way you know it, but a jaundiced view, through the eyes of a poet . . .                                                           Dan Speers, Citizen Poet 


 

 

     I don't make political jokes.

     They're elected by other folks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

When it comes to choosing clothing,

 

Nudists will stop at nothing.

 

Short Stories from  Citizen Poet  The current story,

           He's falling in love but is it with a woman--or a man?

         Josie, Parts I-IV      Part V, In process

 

Previous stories -- 

     Ringing Out                     Twice upon a Murder 

     A Letter from Sissy       A Cherokee Dying

  

          Daniel E. Speers is the author of all poetry on this site. Other than short quotes for reviews, permission and/or licensing is required for use. Website and all contents Copyright 2009-2011 by Daniel E. Speers For permissions: DanSpeers@CitizenPoet.com


A must read poem . . .  

 

 I Am a Poem, Bisensual

 

  I Am a Poem, Bisensual  is the poem that reads you as you read it.

 

  USE CAUTION. 

This is an experimental, interactive poem -- a living, sentient being, both bisensual and bisexual.As you read this poem, it will make love to you.

Born This Way


The Prophets

The Washington Monument cracked apart.

God , said Robinson, cracked the plot.

Bachman said it was God who wrought

The death and pain that Irene brought.

An earthquake and a hurricane

Messages that they both proclaimed

Came from a God they claimed distraught

Upset because Liberals fought

The good Conservatives thought hot.

Which proves prophets need not be smart.


A love story:

Josie, Parts I - IV

This is an unusual love story. A young man finds himself falling in love, but he has no idea whether the object of his affectiuon is a man or a woman--and he soon discovers that no one will tell him the truth.

Part V In process


    A spring garden I most desired,

    But for naught; all I grew was tired.

 twittergrams  

An Unfinished PunDitty -- Or,

The Trouble with Only Having

140 Characters on Twitter . . .

 

Bachmann has fit, Perry won't quit / Romney's still Mitt, Newt's a misfit / Cain's half a wit, Huntsman vote split / Santorum and Paul are full of

Twitted 11/15/2011


 

wrote: Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, March 25, 2010, on MSNBC: "Sarah Palin has the crosshairs of a gun sight over our district and when people do that, they’ve gotta realize there are consequences to that action." http://bit.ly/f3ZXws

 


NickKristofwroteI tried to interview a young woman who was surrounded and bullied by Mubarak's thugs. She stood her ground.heroically

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@NickKristof A similar tale, I recall / From those supporters of Rand Paul.

misspadalicious wroteI kinda love being Pisces, we all look at least 10 years younger than we actually are . . .

To which I replied . . .

 

@misspadalicious It's true we all look younger when / We'll never look this young again.

 


Previous twittergrams: 

@latimes  wrote

The absolutely best Thanksgiving turkey recipe. Ever. http://lat.ms/bkbOON

To which I replied . . .

 

@latimes About your turkey recipe / Cooking this dish isn't easy / The turkeys are all in D.C.

 

To which @latimes replied . . .

 

@DanSpeers how quickly you forget. Alaska has a supply of turkeys as Sarah Palin showed us two years ago

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@latimes I thought I saw Sarah Palin / All the turkeys she was killing. / Did some survive, my lying eyes?

To which I replied . . .

@SgBz  wroteThe best way to defeat the Republican Propaganda Machine is through humor - jokes have a way of circling the globe #p2 #p21 #pX

 

 

@SgBz Some use jokes, I use poetry / Sarcastic poems have potency. /A poem a day has probity /And destroys idiocy.


@Uncucumbered wrote

''I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.''—Glenn Beck, calling evolution ''ridiculous'' #P2

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@Uncucumbered Glen Beck's half-man-ape comes clearer / When Beck peers into a mirrow.


Margoandhow wrote -John McCain has flipped his lid. His remarks about Boxer were almost obscene, considering they are fellow Senators. He will regret this.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@Margoandhow McCain owes Boxer an apology / Trouble is, he can't remember who is she.

 

To which Margoandhowreplied

 

@DanSpeers I'm not sure he remembers who HE is


Zillapreneur wrote - The key I have found to loosing weight is not to loose your mind in the process.-Mr.Roger.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@Zillapreneur My Don't Diet: / Don't buy it / Don't fry it / Don't try it.


DCdebbie wrote

-The summer is almost over, I need a long weekend of sin, sand and water. #tanning

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@DCdebbie I can't help with sand or tanning / But I've had practice with sinning.


tiffany_or_die wrote -

I can't help but wonder if anyone would miss me if I just suddenly disappeared.

#depressedtweet

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@tiffany_or_die Who misses she who disapears? / It will be the loan officer / When your car loan is in arrears.


JimGrygar wrote - I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but theyve always worked for me.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@JimGrygarSome who are self-medicated / Soon become self-deadicated.


DCdebbie wrote - I'm gay on weekends and holidays.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@DCdebbie When you're not gay, ask yourself why / You think you're not just getting bi?

 


A recent personal tweet:

 

When approaching sex, don't go slow / It's how you come, not how you go. 

 

Fearing that he might be gay, Mitt

Tried hairdressing to belay it.



 

 

   The past spent, the future priceless, 

   Today's best buy is happiness.

 

    Wine decreases inhibitions

    And increases exhibitions.

 

     You can't be down on

     What you're not up on.

 

   Death just opens the door        

   To what we were before.

 

   Wisdom in action

   Gives knowledge traction.

 

    We count our foes' faults with delight,        

     While keeping our own out of sight.

 

   Occupy here, occupy there, 

  Is now, occupi everywhere.

 


  Flirting excites the eyes,

  French perfume the nose.

  A vote for sex I think is wise

  If we vote ayes, ignore the no's.


Flirting excites the eyes,

Told by those with poor memory.

 

You won't harm your reputation,

If you don't supply the weapon.

 

Morals may work, but a witness,

Helps resist temptation the best.

 

My doctor has a manner nice,

Always dispensing fee advice.

 

All a good lie needs for impact,

Is proper selection of fact.

 

A rising tide will raise all boats,

As well as whatever else floats.

 

Love is great

                when it partners hearts,

But great sex partners other parts.

 

I think it's time we admitted,

Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Though we know

                      what clothes are for,

As nudists, we like nothing more.

 

Some hide behind inferences,

Nudists air their differences.

 

An epitaph, as we all know:

Lies above for what lies below.

 

A bathing beauty on the shore,

Is a sight worth wading for.

 

No need to quarrel, my wife avers,

If she goes her way, and I, hers.

 

Prejudice can't see what is what,

Since it's blinded by what is not.

 

The Horn of Plenty keeps you fit,

But not if you keep blowing it.

 

And, on a serious note,

B sharp, he wrote.

 

Nudists never straddle a fence,

It tends to split the difference.

 

My rheumatism I endure;

It's my built-in weather bureau.

 

If you drive like Hell, don't worry,

You're getting there in a hurry.

 

On my diet, I ate and weighted;

Now my waist's delapidated.

 

A good salesman can be adept,

At really talking you to debt.

 

What hypocrits appreciate

Are those values they imitate.

 

Vokda kills germs lickedy split,

If you can get germs to drink it.

 

No creed or belief is so fool proof

It can't be tested by the truth.

 

If you find your life has been tense

Try present instead of past tense.

 

Tho' conscience is a useful guide,

Arthiritis is on my side.

 

I give the present my deference,

As it's a future reference.

 

You can drink like a fish and thrive,

But the fish will swim home, not drive.

At my age, flirting helps restore,

What it was I was flirting for.

 

My alarm clock I cannot keep,

--Always goes off when I'm asleep.

Counting one's sins is troubling;

Makes me think I'm missing something.

  Visit Dan at Citizen Poet every day for a new and witty political PunDitty

 

Yesterday's PunDitty  

     Every time I hear attitude

    I discover ingratitude.

    

Yesterday's Epigram 

      Some say meals should be well thought out,

          My wife relies on well thawed out.

    Previous PunDittys   

      Pre-school plans and assault weapons

      Are the new GOP demons. 

 

      Carl Rove wants to change his party

      But deals with nuts hale and hearty

      Served with fruits at a tea party.

   

 

 

 

     

    Previous Epigrams   

       If you agree with me, you'll find,

       I have once again changed my mind

       So what you liked is now behind.

 

      People who say what they think ought

      To provide proof of what they thought.

Read More of These in the PunDitty Vault

Read More of These in Recent Epigrams

  Coming soon: An American Treasure: A half-century of puns, satire, and political poems by Dan Speers


A Chronical of the 2012 Primary Season

 

In this last primary season,
Puns, poems and irony
Traced GOP hyprocrisy,
But while t'was rhyme,
                    t'was no reason.
 
   Read the PunDittys Here


    "A Warning to Boys Who Climb Trees"     -- A birthday poem for a 12-year-old boy.  


Favorite Poems

 

 Does Anyone Know I'm Here      So Very Cold Outside 

 

       What Would He Do?      A Taste of Dirt         The Last Cigarette


 Parrhesia: The Poetry Blog

 

                  Poems and Thoughts, and Observations . . .  

 

 Parrhesia means to speak candidly about literally everything, Embedded in the US Constitution,parrhesia was also a fundamental element of classical Athenian democracy, including the right to question, criticize, or satirize, as well as the right to ridicule that Aristophanes used so freely in his plays. It first appears in Euripides 'Hippolytus (line 422; performed in 428 B.C.) and Ion (lines 672, 675; of uncertain date). Today, Americans expect and demand the truth not only in courts, political arenas, and assemblies, but in business, private discourse, and even personal relationships. Parrhesia. I see what I see, I write what I feel, I paint with words, the world.


 

Dead Certain

An indictment of George W. Bush

A poem from the heart;

Marking the end of Iraq War.

 

    George W. Bush has kept one promise he made as President--his pledge to go on the lecture circuit once his terms ended in order to "replenish" the family coffers. Underpinning this pledge was his carefully cultivated image of a warrior President--an image in fact based upon a lie, the war in Iraq, a war based on distortions of the truth, suggestions of impending doom from mushroom clouds, and the non-existtent Weapons of Mass Destruction.

   Given this pledge that was revealed in the book, Dead Certain, and his messianic belief that he was getting his war advice from God with the hundreds of war dead filling those empty coffins on a midnight tarmac in what I feel was an illegal and immoral war, I felt both sorrow and disgust. I expressed my feeling a poem I wrote at the time. It's called

 

Dead Certain

 

 


And don't miss these great pages of satire and political punditry . .

GLEN BECK's PAGE

Believe It or Not!! Read the Glenn Beck response to Dan's epigramic jibes. You won't believe what this nutcase said.

 

 

     You've heard him cry, how he exhorts,

     It comes from where he pulls reports.

     His magic underwear distorts

     Every word Glen Beck reports. 


Please don't mention my name

DREADICATIONS 

Speers' points aimed

at the truly weird

 

           The latest FOX News statistic:

           Twelve out of ten Liberal picks

           Will turn nation Communistic.

           Other four are Gay sadistic.

After FOX News' Fuzzy Math

 

    FOX lies are well documented

    What ails FOX is Ailes demented.

 --Sharpened Speers

Fueled by FOX  - Fooled by FOX


Conspiring John -  Sen. John Ensign carried on an affair with a staffer who was married to another staffer, and who was the mother of another staffer, and attempted to cover up his daliance by having his supporters hire the cuckold.

 

   I'm a Hamptons' fan, the senator said,

   Some work on my staff, and some I embed.

 

 

The Further Adventures

of the Wasilla Hillbillies

 

Sarah laid bare . . .  Todd barely keeps his ego fed . . .

Levi can't keep his Levis on . . . Facebook face off . . .

Up from the town came a bubbling crude

Hillbillies, that is.


 

Sarah Palin makes

      John McCain boner,

Says she'll campaign . . .

   in North and South

   Arizona.


Zany Liz Cheney

Launches "Keep America Safe"

Fighting Mad - Defends Dad

Weighing Run for President

 

                 Loopy Liz and old Dithering Dick.

                       One a pinhead, the other a prick.

 

                      Cheney says torture probe unfair,

                       Perhaps we stick the probe elsewhere.

~~~~~

Meghan McCain

Straight-Talking Dad Has Out-Spoken Daughter

Calls Joe-the-Plumber a DumbAss

Taunts Malkin, Coulter and Ingraham 

 

Flights

of Fancy

Sharpened 

Speers 

a new  poetry

Antonyms

and

Apigrams 

To go forward

We look backward.


 

In Remembrance . . .

Requiem for a Star

 

In nature's perfect universe

Parallel lines remain discrete,

Yet Michael Jackson found the verse

Where black and white could long last meet.

 "Requiem for a Star" published 2009 at MJFC,

Michael Jackson Fan Club, www.mjfanclub.net

Copyright 2009 by Dan Speers


 

   Wielding burrs and barbs in verse

    CitizenPoet comments in ways diverse

    using a unique form of poetic justice

    to lampoon and skewer the indignities

    of human foilbles and stupidities.

 

Fun Sites I Really Like

 

Poetry, Short Stories and More

The Jittery Goat

~ ~ ~

Mario Piperni:

Political Issues & Not

 ~ ~ ~

The Blogdog

~ ~ ~

Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor

~ ~ ~

  Robert Neff 

A story in art and verse

Dalmation Press


Poetry Types - Old Versus New

At ShadowPoetry  I have written about traditional poetic  forms well-known and obscure, as well as an extensive list of invented Poetry Types, an activity going back centuries and still practiced by modern-day poets. I included my own invented poetry type, the  Apigram.


 

Neil Diamond almost didn't make it to his Fourth of July concert with the Boston Pops. This is the story of the singer's midnight flight and fight to get to a Boston site late at night. 

Twit If by Land, Tweet If by Sea  


 

The Spiral Staircase  

~ ~ ~ 

Begin Again the Same Again

 ~ ~ ~

A new federal tax imposed April 1, 2009 dramatically  increased the price of cigarettes and reminded me of my own battles with tobacco before I was able to break the habit a number of years ago. This poem is my story:

The Last Cigarette

 ~ ~ ~

April 1: Budget, Smudgit, Fudgit

 April Fool's Day

 Have They No Cents?

 ~ ~ ~

April 7, 2009

Obama at the Front 

 

Tweety Observations:

 

If short bits give you the jitters / Then you best avoid the twitters.

 

And so I wrote:

 

Tweets On Book Burning

 

Burning holy books is profane / Especially done in God's name.

 

Thank God religious hysterics / Produce religious heretics.

 

Buring the Koran: Evolution favors no favorites / It could be evolving more idiots.

 

Burning the Koran: One can believe in God in vain / By keep on killing in his name.

 

Buring the Koran: Religious values are celebrated / By zealots united in common hatred.

 

Any fool can claim to be a pastor / Even Rev. Jones, a national disaster.

 

Rev. Jones doing Christians proud / Now spewing hate and lies out loud.

 


To which I replied:

 

 NorthwestFirewrote RT @AboutVetMed: What's your favorite CAT food and why? http://su.pr/2Bb48V < Depends on the wine I'm having.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@NorthwestFire A Tiger for dinner would never do / That 500-pound pussy would eat you.


DCdebbie wrote Two exboyfriends texted me after DC earthquake, asking who I was with and what I was doing.

  

To which I replied . . .

 

@DCdebbieI think our mates already knew / We still sure can make the earth move.


GPappalardowrote Every morning on the farm starts with a cock. A-doodle-doo.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@GPappalardoWhen on the farm the dawn doth burst / The cock does the hardest thing first. 


  carolyncjjoneswrote RT @MeredithMBell: "The love we give away is the only love we keep." - Elbert Hubbard

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@carolyncjjones @MeredithMBellWhen they say love is blind, I think / Explains whom I bed when I drink.


rcaplice wrote: @dannyson1 Sign me up! I'm ready for Antarctica right now. This heat is awful

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@rcaplice Live north of Boston, near Hampshire / To cool off, had to build a fire. .


 inaimless  wrote Palin writes down cost of extending bush’s tax cuts on her hand, still gets it wrong: http://bit.ly/9ObaZc #lol #p2 #tcot

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@inaimless Most people wash up when they stand / Palin reads what's left on her hand.


agville wrote Springfield City Council moves forward on urban-chicken farming http://bit.ly/aB6eqL

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@agvilleSo Springfield now debates a lot / Where lots of chicks get lots of cock?


Kellbo0 wrote Funniest thing from Wife Swap previews, the woman sees the goat and goes "A freakin SHEEP?" Where do they get these people? #p21.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@cjk4My love thinks swapping is a bore / Whatever would she swap me for?


 tonystevens4 wrote - A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. Hubbard #quote rt @LoriMoreno

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@tonystevens4 A friend is one with whom you share / Quirks about which they don't care.


mommadonawrote -The biggest threat to religion, politicians and business is a woman on the pill.

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@mommadona Not just a woman on the pill with choice / But degreed, salaried, and her own strong voice.


Bobzeno  wrote -Gore Vidal: "Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age."

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@Bobzeno Are you sure he mentioned, Litigation? / I could have sworn he said, Lubrication.


Learninlife wrote -

@profblmkelley @ChrisMacDen strange how religion can help the survival of oppression and justify the oppressor

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@Learninlife Good ideas are held captive / Behind religious invective.

 


calgrasley wrote - Tired of office politics? Work at home where you can be the boss. http://dld.bz/b5VM

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@calgrasleyPlus, working at home leaves us free / To work all day quite nakedly. 


MeredithBell wrote -  "Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are." - Jose Ortega y Gasset

 

To which I replied . . .

 

@MeredithMBell You tell me what you think of someone else / And I'll tell you what you think of yourself.

 


NakedAxiom wroteGlenn Beck livid after spot-on Daily Show mockery; wants a restraining order on Jon Stewart. http://bit.ly/9Ni97t ROFL!!! What a moron!

To which I replied . . .

@NakedAxiom Magic underwear distorts / All the words Glen Beck reports.


VarukawroteI have to go to the grocery store, gonna shove a cucumber down my pants and see if anyone wants to do an "Enhanced" patdown on me.

To which I replied . . .

@Varuka It depends, you must remember / On the size of the cucumber.


DC JeffersonObama wroteGlaxo drops version of resveratrol "red wine" drug http://tiny.cc/8plqr

To which I replied . . .

@JeffersonObama

A pill is easy and it's fine / But I would rather drink the wine.

DC Debbie wrote

Looks like "The Hammer" got nailed!

To which I replied . . .

@DCdebbie When Tom DeLay is really jailed / That's when "The Hammer" does get nailed.

mommadona wrote

WHY is #Texas keeping U.S. from honoring national treaties? I think it's time for them to LEAVE #US ~ #OutOutDamnedSpot#gop#scum

To which I replied . . .

@mommadona I lived in Texas for a time / Turned out it was 1799.


Kellbo0 wrote - RT @PaulaInTulsaOK: After I got sexed in, I decided I dnt wnt 2 B in a club that wld allow me as a member. But the sex thing was fun.

To which I replied . . .

@KellboO One sex club visit is for fun / But going twice is perversion.


janinewallace wrote - Glenn Beck – A Legend In His Own Mind ttp://bit.ly/94UVAC#p2#digg#p2b#digguser via @mariopiperni

To which I replied . . .

@janinewallace Glen Beck's no legend in his mind / 'Cause his mind is really behind.


janinewallace wrote -

riddles are fun but not as much fun as puns.

To which I replied . . .

@janinewallace My puns like cream to the top rise / And though I try to always surpirse / Nothing cheesy gets pasteurize


MWM4444wrote: In 97% of bird species, the male does not have a penis.

To which I replied . . .

@MWM4444 Bird dickies are rare, so says you / But I have seen a cockatoo.

...ok, Tweeters, enough with the cock and hen jokes...

Fearing that he might be gay, Mitt

Tried hairdressing to belay it.


Margonand how wrote -

what if you're having sex w/ your partner & you find yourself thinking of yourself? Is that cheating 2?

To which I replied . . .

@Margoandhow Your love partner should understand / Sex sometimes needs a helping hand.



All content on this web site copyright by Daniel E. Speers


Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie


Spies and Lies!

Two great books by Dan Speers:

 

Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie

and

Master Spies Die Laughing.

 


Here's the book that takes on the CIA: 

Dan's latest novel reveals tomorrow's news today.

 

The critics love it. Get your copy today!Click the eye! 

 Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick greeting my wife while he holds a copy of my book Master Spies Die Laughing.

 

Parents, the police and the FBI have discovered school administrators and official Peeping Toms can secretely turn on computer cameras and monitor everything a student does at home from homework to changing clothes. But that's only tip of the iceberg. The authorities can not see your kids, they can track them and you using hidden spy chips in your underwear. Yes . . .

 

 It's Happened Again!

 

Big Brother is in your pants. Today's news:They're hiding spy chips in your underwear. Just like I wrote in Master Spies Die Laughing.

 

...and that's just for starters. Take a look at this:

 

Spy-Cams Hidden in Student Laptops Secretly Spy on Kids

 

Just over a year ago, I wrote  how spy chips were being hidden in laptop computers in America.

 

 The Secret's Out! The underwear bomb is in the book, Master Spies Die Laughing, page 55.

 

And now...

Read about spies in your pants.

How they're bugging your underwear.

(Chapter 2: Page 19) 

 

Master Spies

Die Laughing

  Want a personalized autographed copy for your mate or special friend? Click the eye and Dan will get it for you! 


Here's the book that takes on the Tiger:

 

Tiger Woods:

Ten Ways to Play the Lie

 

Why did the Tiger cheat

on his wife?

 At last, the inside story --the book that names names, exposes the lies, covers the jokes and explains why it happened! Includes the famed Tiger Woods Dictionary.

 

  Tiger Woods doesn't win, but he's back!

    Yep, he's still Masters' bait.

 

See for yourself. Read excerpts, sample chapters, reviews, and, of course, Citizen Poet's infamous satirircal poetry. Now with quotes from famous golfers and celebrities and even includes the exclusive and infamous 19th-hole version of the Tiger Woods Dictionary. 

  The print edition of Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie is is available here, on Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles, and other bookstores everywhere. Paperback: $7.50.  Kindle and eBook editions for your laptop: $1.99.

 

     Tiger Woods unites wife and golf,

     Better a kiss than a kiss-off.


Boxes Lie Waiting

 

Dan's mystery "Boxes Lie Waiting" cited by Amazon.com, Publishers Weekly and Penquin Groups USA in Amazon.com's Breakthrought Novelcontest. Learn all about the citation, discover the bizarre coincidence of the discovery of a real body exactly where Dan said it would be found, read the free excerpt HERE and sign up for free notification of publication date.

  In a bizarre coincidence, on the same day the local newspaper ran a story about Boxes Lie Waitng, which begins with the discovery of a body at Winnekenni Castle, the unbelievable happened. Police discover a body at Winnekenni Castle. And Dan gets a call. 


 Get Your Copy Now! 



 Gov. Sanford's Lament

 

NEWS ITEM - May 25, 2009 - Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted an affair with a Latin lover from Argentina. The governor had originally clalimed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, including on a Sunday that happened to be Nude Hiking Day. The press conference went like this...

 

 Don't Cry for Me, Appalachia

 

Sandford said God will make him whole

Though he put himself in the hole.


I hate to say I told you so

  What they show they show:

X-Scanners

  

Airport scanners show

     all just fine,     

Give new meaning to

    "butt in line."

 

You may as well

     grin and bare it,      

Your X-scan is going

     to share it.

 

  Male or female, X-scans will out

 Even those with the slightest doubt.

 


Hiliary Clinton: "Youv've got folks putting explosives in their underwear. Who would have thought?" Actually, I did. I wrote about it in my book, Master Spies Die Laughing (page 55). And, yes, I also wrote about the suprising new device that is coming next in airport security.


 

 

a tribute to 
Ted Kennedy . . .  
--a poem about this family, 
this pride of lions . . . and

 


Featured Poems

 

A Taste of Dirt

~ ~ ~

What Would He Do?

~ ~ ~
Everybody Loves Babies

~ ~ ~ 

December
Tribute to Robert Frost

~ ~ ~

War Poetry

America's Burden  

~ ~ ~

Dissention

~ ~ ~

 

Dead Certain

~ ~ ~

From Master Spies Die Laughing

the novel, comes the ballad

~ ~ ~

   One Thousand Brave Young Soldiers 

 

Don't wave the flag of the nation,        

     If you waived the obligation.


 

     Does war

          make you mad

          when the mad

     Make war? 

 


 Award-Winning Poems 

 

 

Does Anyone Know I'm Here?

          First Place World Wide

           Tom Howard/John H. Reid Poetry Contest  

 ~ ~ ~

So Very Cold Outside

          Finalist

           Margie, The American Journal of Poetry, vol. 5 


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*Note on Pun-Ditty:

Conspiring John -  Sen. John Ensign carried on an affair with a staffer who was married to another staffer, who was the mother of another staffer, and attempted to cover up his daliance by having his supporters hire the cuckold and his parents pay a bribe to the husband, Mr. Hampton.

 

        Getting ahead is easy done,

        Providing you can start with one.

 

        Proper use of ability 

        Requires responsibility.

 

  What one sees differs man to man.

  Some see the dancer, some the fan.

 

 What's called the pinnacle of fame

  Might "the height of folly" be named.

 

        We all know that reality

        Is only what we think we see.

 

        Boston tunnels were flooded out,

        But, luckily, I brake for trout.

 

       Wine decreases inhibitions

       And increases exhibitions.

 

  When politicians speak their mind 

  We usually find someone's behind.

 

   The choice is, a patient while you drive 

   Or hospital patient, if you survive.

 

       

        Some think this safety plea well said:

        School bus students are best belted.

 

 

  "For example" is never proof,

    Nor sincerity ever truth. 

 

   The old days weren't better back when,

   It's just that I was younger then.

 

  They say that time will heal all wounds,

  Which explains doctor's waiting rooms.

 

      We're all born ignorant, it's true;

      It's stupidity we accrue.

 

     On clothing, nudists have no doubt,

     There's nothing to complain about.

     Solemnity is not the key,

     To a rumor's veracity.

 

      Raising the voice

      Lowers the choice.

 

     The prime of life is not well timed,

     It takes me longer to get primed.

 

      Large egos I find

      Start with a small mind.

 

     Sex is always our first choice,

     What changes are the girls and boys.

 

    Mediocrity meets the test,

    Of always being at its best.

    Stopping at railroad crossings is clever;

    You can stop a minute -- or forever.

 

Some say nudist clothes have little in store

But the truth is, nothing pleases us more.

 

The more crimes a state legislates,

The more criminals it creates.

Mistakes make all the difference

When they're grounds for experience.

 

Love and chess are games related,

One false move and then you're mated.

Protons, electrons and neutrons

Make humans. And, yes, some morons.

 

My New Year's resolutions failed again,

Since I am not t healthy, wealthy or thin.

 

Some things are new under the sun;

Tomorrow has not yet begun.

 

Can't be progress in medicine;

I feel worse today than back when.

 

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Single Stream Recycling

Haverhill's introducing

Single stream recycling

 

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What's trash, what's not, and what goes where

 

Haverhill, MA, is introducing single stream recycling. Gargage goes into one container and all recyclables into another. No need to separate out jars, cans, paper or plastic. Just put with the newspapers that you have been putting out. Sorting is done automatically by specialized equipment.

 

This Recycling Jingle is not official, nor is it connected to or affiliated with the city in any way. It is simply a rhyme I created in response to all of the questions I got from going door to explain the program and help residents identify what is classified garbage and what is recyclable.

 

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